In My Dreams I Hold a Knife by Ashley Winstead Published by Sourcebooks on August 3, 2021
Genres: Fiction / Literary, Fiction / Thrillers / Psychological, Fiction / Thrillers / Suspense
Pages: 352
Format: Audiobook, eBook
ISBN: 9781728229898Six friends. One college reunion. One unsolved murder.
Ten years after graduation, Jessica Miller has planned her triumphant return to her southern, elite Duquette University, down to the envious whispers that are sure to follow in her wake. Everyone is going to see the girl she wants them to see—confident, beautiful, indifferent. Not the girl she was when she left campus, back when Heather Shelby's murder fractured everything, including the tight bond linking the six friends she'd been closest to since freshman year.
But not everyone is ready to move on. Not everyone left Duquette ten years ago, and not everyone can let Heather's murder go unsolved. Someone is determined to trap the real killer, to make the guilty pay. When the six friends are reunited, they will be forced to confront what happened that night—and the years' worth of secrets each of them would do anything to keep hidden.
Told in racing dual timelines, with a dark campus setting and a darker look at friendship, love, obsession, and ambition, In My Dreams I Hold A Knife is an addictive, propulsive read you won't be able to put down.
In My Dreams I Hold a Knife has been on my radar for a while, and after finishing The Last Housewife, I wanted to read another Winstead novel. While she’s amazing at writing such tense scenes that make it hard to put the book down, I really disliked this one in comparison to The Last Housewife.
With Shay, there was an understanding of her own role and actions that played a part in what happened in college. As her story unfolded, she became a more sympathetic character. The characters in In My Dreams I Hold a Knife were all so horrible!! I tried to find something redeeming in them, but for the most part, they were all either entitled jackasses or whiny assholes who thought they were owed something. Actually, there was one character I liked and that was Heather’s brother (whose name I have forgotten). He was understandably shattered after his sister’s death, and kept digging to find out the truth of what happened. How Heather’s friends treated him about trying to find out the truth was ridiculous. Of course, people shouldn’t let trauma control their lives, but the idea he should just get over his sister’s murder is messed up.
Personally, I don’t understand the point of school reunions. For one, my high school years were horrible and not something I want to think about. While my college years were better, I don’t feel the need to visit for reunions. The people I care about are still in my life and know what I’m up to, and the ones who don’t, I don’t feel the need to perform or have a oneupmanship about our lives. So, Jessica’s whole attitude about going back to her university make no sense to me.
The story itself was a thrilling ride. It was a satisfying reveal of who the killer was and definitely a textbook example of the dangers of toxic masculinity. The second twist at the end of Jessica not acting to raise the alarm once she does see that Heather is still alive was just another reason that I didn’t like her. She is right that there probably wasn’t anything that could’ve saved Heather, but she didn’t know that for certain. I’m all for morally grey characters, but Jessica is too whiny and too much of a pick-me girl to garner any like from me.
I truly didn’t understand this friendship group, as it was all so flimsy and tenuous. After finding out who killed Heather, I didn’t really care what happened to the characters (except Heather’s brother and Jack, the person everyone thought had murdered Heather). It was definitely a great book to listen to while driving for most of the day on the second half of my road trip back home at the time.
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